now i know why i became what i already was.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
