is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
