walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
