walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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