I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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