How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
