I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
