I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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