Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
