it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
