I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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