I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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