It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
