do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
