I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
how drunk are you?
Several
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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