I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
