Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
