My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
