Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
