I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You smell like stripper and shame
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
