If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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