Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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