This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
