Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
