Screwed.edu
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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