I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
the raccoons are back...
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