He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
