OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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