yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
