Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Found your dick twin last night
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The power of my boobs compel you
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
