Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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