I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
