I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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