when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
