I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
