Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You smell like stripper and shame
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
