im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
