This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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