Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
