Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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