idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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