I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
