my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
