i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
