your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
