He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
