So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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