found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
