she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
