so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
